Funny, Funny Island

Have you ever been sooooo bored and wanted to do something fun with the kids? Let's just say that's what led to our adventure to "Funny, Funny Island".

It all started on a boring night while the girls (Kaylie and Makenzie) were in my room wanting something to do...

We decided we wanted to go on a trip somewhere. As you well know, there is a lot to do to prepare for a trip, get food, get shots, etc. We had to be ready for a fun time! Off to the ocean to set sail...

We were sitting in the middle of the bed trying to come up with a good idea. Suddenly, (all imaginary, of course) a huge ocean wind blew up and we were sent off course in our "bed-boat" to a place called Funny Funny Island. We couldn't get off the island (bed) because there were sharks circling us. Then, as luck would have it, one of our books fell in to the water. We all held Kaylie's legs while she hung over the "beach" and fished the book out of the water before the sharks ate it. Whew, that was close! That shark had lots of teeth and looked way too hungry!

We decide to explore our island, travelling all around it on our knees. (There's a visual for you... me crawling on a bed on my knees.) We finally found a huge cave and decided to go inside. (It was easy if you crawled under the comforter.) It wasn't really dark in the cave so when we hung on to the ceiling of the cave we could see pictures that the natives drew on the walls of the cave. (The light from the TV as you look through the comforter was showing us the seashell design on the comforter.) Those natives really knew how to draw good seashells! We decided to trace them with our fingers and pretend to draw pictures of our own. We looked the pictures up in our books to "decipher" them. (We learned a new word, decipher!)

All of a sudden there was a huge clap of thunder and Makenzie nearly came out of her skin. As luck would have it, God was assisting us in our island trip by making thunder for real, outside. We decided we would stay in the cave until the storm passed. We listened to some natives talking outside the cave (the TV voices) and decided when the storm was over we would try to get back home. After the storm, we came out of the cave and saw a ship in the bay. We also saw rocks we could walk on (thank God for pillows) to get to the ship and head home. slowly we climbed on the rocks and tried really hard not to fall in the bay. That hungry shark was still out there somewhere!

Yes, we made it to the ship (the doorway) and went safely home to tell everyone about our trip. When we got home the girls said we should share some pictures we took on our journey, so here they are!

It's Been Awhile

Don't faint, I'm still alive and kicking! So its been awhile since I've posted... When I started this blog it was to bring back memories and help me to better understand who I've become. If, along the way, I sparked some good memories for the readers, that was a bonus.

I haven't been posting because, if you know me at all, I try to see the cup as half full... all the time. With all that's been going on in my life lately, it seemed like there were days when just seeing the cup was an accomplishment. I don't like to spread negativism's and that's all I've been feeling. By posting, I felt as if I was spreading that to everyone else.

I've been to the beach a lot. It's my place to think and make sense of the things that aren't easy for me to understand. It's the best place for me to pray. When the waves come in, it's like God's saying "Throw in your problems and I'll wash them away." Out go the waves and my head seems cleared.

Earlier this week I had a slap of "get your act together". I'd emailed my cousin Renee to see how my Uncle Glen was doing. I was feeling one of those "vibes" and I had to know he was OK. Renee responded with an email that took my breath away. My cousin Summyr has leukemia. It killed her Grandmother, my Aunt Grace, and now she had it. In flooded the memories and wow, was I messed up. My Aunt Grace was there for me when I had my breast cancer. She and I had the bald head, chemo, radiation , and we shared this bond that not many people ever have. (Thank God.) To know that her granddaughter was now battling this stupid disease was unbelievable. I remember wanting to make sure someone was asking my Uncle Glenn how he was through all of it too. (Somehow the spouse doesn't always get the support they deserve.) Now Summyr's husband, Mike is in that boat and I wish there was something I could find to say to him. I saw some pictures of the two of them and know their love is deeper than most people will ever be able to share. One look in their eyes and you know they are fighting this together. I believe they will beat it... together.

My memories of my cancer days have been very prominent these past few days. I remember Dan cutting my hair for me. I could hear him crying, but I never said a word to him. I let him rub my head and call me "Baldy", because I knew that it was his way of facing the reality of the disease and it would ease his pain. I remember the closeness we shared through that ugly disease, both cancers, and I know without a doubt, without Dan and my girls I never would have survived my cancer.

So where does this leave me now? Missing Dan even more. Remembering the sacrifices he made for me. Knowing everything my family was doing for me was as much to help them as it was to help me. Some people need to "do" to get through challenges. Others type, write, read, or just pray a lot. Whatever works for you, do it. My sister-in-law Pam is also battling cancer and all I can tell her, too is to keep fighting. This is changing your life and the lives of your families. I remember swearing I would never take another day for granted. I was wrong. I did and still may. You would think I would have learned ...

But one thing is still the same as then: I do not have time to die. I have too much left to do. I have too much left to learn. I have too many smiles to flash and hugs to give. And knowing me as I know you do, you know I still have too much talking to do. So I'll end this post by saying:
"After you read this, think about just how lucky you are today. Then thank our Lord for what you have. Faith is free. Try it. It will sustain you when it feels like nothing else will."

Amen.

Head Vacations

So, what do you do when you are broke, but you still want to do something. If you know me, you know I'm crazy, so...

I go on Head Vacations. (Now this is not the same as "head trips" from the 70's!) I do it to relax, get away mentally, and to keep my "the glass is half full" perspective. Let me explain, before you think I've totally lost it. I'm betting I'm not the only one taking head vacations...

Sometimes my vacations come as a result of being broke, sometimes as a result of being financially OK. Here's an example:

This was about 8 years ago. Dan and I were swimming in our pool, relaxing and counting our blessings. We talked about how there were things we wanted, but nothing we really needed.
We had the "if I had a million dollars to blow" conversation and it went a bit like this:
We would have a huge family reunion with all our parents, siblings and their families, aunts and uncles and their families. Like I said, it would be huge! We would do one side of the family first and then the other side. We decided on a week at Disney World. After we flew everyone down or trained in the non-flyers, we paid for everything, except souvenirs. We booked the Caribbean Beach Resort for everyone. The good part about Disney is that they do all the transportation, so we could come and go and no one had to do any driving. We would all do whatever we wanted during the day, but we had to all meet up for at least breakfast each day. We were family and needed to appreciate that fact. Wherever possible we booked shows, like the Luau at the Polynesian Resort, or LaNouba at Downtown Disney. The idea was to have everyone together to enjoy "FAMILY". Everyone could go to all the parks and water parks as they pleased. We made a suggested agenda for anyone who wanted it. The last night there we all got together for a huge family photo on the steps in front of Cinderella's castle at the Magic Kingdom. We had Family Reunion shirts made up for everyone. Everyone agreed to share their photos and videos with each other so that at the following years family reunion we would all reminisce about Disney World.

So here I am 8 years later still having Head vacations. Kristy laughed at me the other night because I even took out paper and wrote down who I'd invite, where we would go, and things we could do. Maybe I should be a Family Vacations Planner or something??? Anyway, it got me through the "I'm tired of being broke" mood I was in. It's one of those things to do when you are bored and don't have the means to go/do something. I'd suggest the family play it as a game and have the kids look up ideas of things to do. Then save them and hopefully someday turn the dreams into reality. Anyone who knows me is tired of hearing me say "when I win the lottery"...

Here are a few more exaples of Head Vacations I've had:
- there was the time I took 11 other people with me on a tour of England to see where we used to live and all the very cool things there.
- the time my sisters and I went to Key West to just "hang out". (This one actually came true.)
- the one where I take all my Dad's sisters and brothers and we go to Disney to ride on the Merry go round. (That was actually a Head Dream of my Dad's.)
- we rent two 28 bedroom houses in the Outer Banks of North Carolina for a week and have family get togethers.
- we invite people that have helped us out during our lives to spend a week in Florida and relax or do whatever they want to do to get away. (Did this one too!)

There is also another good thing about taking the time to Head Vacation. You find things you can do and appreciate that are within your grasp right now. You see how lucky you are to have what you have and who you have in your lives. So, admit it or not, I'm betting you've all gone n a Head Vacation or two in your time. The question now is will you comment on this blog and share some Head Vacations with me? Who knows, we may have "gone to the same place" and never even knew it!!!

Comments please... fess up!

Don't Faint

So where are we now? Any guesses? We are now back in Melbourne, Florida. The company I was working with part-time in Illinois had a full time opportunity back in Melbourne, so I took it. After all, you know me, only I would go all the way to Illinois to find a job right here in Melbourne.

It was all pretty funny actually. I got a call one day asking me if I was interested in relocating, as I had indicated "yes" when initially applying with the company. I asked where and she said "Florida". As Miami is not a place I'd ever want to move to, I asked where in Florida. At that time my choices were Ocala, Tampa and Melbourne. LOL! Melbourne! I started laughing and she asked why. I told her to check my resume where she saw that I was from Melbourne. We talked about the opportunity and made the decision that Melbourne was going to be a definite option. I talked to Tricia, as her input is just as important as mine, and we said "time to go back to Florida". They also have a position at the Corporate Headquarters in Tampa, but the person in that position now, has not officially turned in her retirement paperwork. Until she does, that option is on hold.

There is also a position open in Naples, Florida. I'm talking with my boss now to see if that would be a better decision and work better for both the company and us. If I go to Naples I also know I could pick up some part time Hallmark work, until the end of the year, to get us back on track. Keep checking in to see the final outcome of this, now 7 month, journey.

There have been so many people that have helped us through all of this mess: Kristy,William and the girls let us stay with them initially and now. Candy and John, my sister and brother-in-law and their family, let us live with them for two+ months, and countless people that repaid loans they had with us, as well as far too many people offering us financial assistance. We had invitations for visits and mini trips at just get away. How do you thank someone for that? We, over the years, never helped people with the intentions of expecting anything in return. (That's not why you help someone.) But the Lord has definitely called in some markers for us. My goal now is to get back on our feet and repay anyone who helped us in any way. There is someone out there who helped us, and asked to remain nameless, who cannot ever understand the help they provided us. You know who you are, and we will never, ever forget your help. If anyone helped us in any way, know we will not forget.

So if you are wondering where we are, for now it's Melbourne. My knees are flat from hours of prayers. I feel as if this may be coming to an end. Where we end up may still be a bit fuzzy, but as always we are together and remaining healthy. As the Lord often does, he tested us. Never will I say we passed with flying colors, but if you've ever read the poem "Footprints", I think He's going to let us walk on our own... for awhile. Thank you Lord! Don't go far...

Relatives...

My Aunt Jane was married to my Uncle Dan. They came to visit us in Florida to celebrate Uncle Dan's 75th birthday. We had so much fun with them. They wore us out with all their energy! We fondly called them Tarzan and Jane! We miss you Uncle Dan.
Aunt Shirley was the aunt I didn't get to know that well until I was older. As the mother of nine children, you can understand why. Now when we see each other we start out with a big hug. She's great!
Uncle Junior is my Dad's brother. He teased us as kids and continued the tradition with my children. Tricia makes a special point to try to see him whenever we go to Two Rivers.
Here are my Aunts and Uncles from my Dad's family. (back row= Uncle Dale, Aunt Louise, Uncle Leroy, Aunt Shirley, Uncle Junior, Uncle Earl, and Uncle Pat. front row- Uncle Frank, married to my Aunt Patsy.) My Grandparents had 12 children. It's so nice to see the eight remaining family members together enjoying each others company. This was the first time I saw my Uncle Leroy in over 35 years! Too long... I could write for weeks with the memories I have of all of these relatives.

I missed so many family events being in other parts of the world during my life. But please know, everyone stayed in my memories and will not be forgotten. Thank you Lord, for the memories!

Wow! 50 Years

This past weekend we had the pleasure of being there when my Aunt Patsy and Uncle Frank celebrated their 50Th Wedding Anniversary. We wanted to make their gift special for them, so we created an Anniversary Cake. My Aunt Patsy is famous for making the most beautiful wedding cakes. Everyone always asks her to make theirs because they not only look beautiful, but they always taste so good. To celebrate for Uncle Frank and the "Cake Lady", Aunt Patsy, (as my kids used to call her when they were little), Tricia and I made this cake for them. The bottom "layer" is a keepsake box with their invitation in the lid, and the entire cake is covered with 50 one dollar bills from my brother Steve, sisters Candy and Marcia, and my Mom. They are very special to us as we used to go to their house to visit when we were kids. We would spend the weekend with them having fun and of course getting into trouble as kids always do.
As I watched my cousins pose for this photo with their parents I was reminded of so many good times we had as kids.
To help make the event memorable, there was a Mock Wedding. Here you can see the "Anniversary Version" of their wedding party. Aunt Patsy and Uncle Frank stood in the middle of this "group", still smiling at the reenactment of their wedding.
This is their original Wedding Party. Quite a different picture, as you can see. I'm so happy for them. Celebrating 50 years is something every married couple talks about. I'm so glad I got to be there for it.

I Don't Need To Say Anything More

I don't need to say anything more. Please go see this and listen. (Hmmm, I think I hear Dan humming in the background.) Turn up your sound!

http://www.whatkindofworlddoyouwant.com/videos/view/id/706270

It's awesome!

A Busy Week

This past week was a busy one here. Early in the week we celebrated my nephew Roberts 12Th birthday. He's a Star Wars lover, so of course he had Yoda on his cake. We had a great family celebration and enjoyed his favorite meal: BBQ ribs, sliced carrots, potato chips and of course the Baskin Robbins ice cream cake.

On Saturday Samantha made her First Communion. She did a great job and looked very pretty. Her Godmother is Marcia and Dan was her Godfather. (If you look closely he's behind her in the picture. :) ) We had a nice time but had to cut it short. Tricia fell at the house so we needed to get her home and get her arm iced. What an ugly bruise. It's one of those that will take several days to really show up.

We were dog sitting for my brother Steve's dog Harley. She is the most well behaved dog! When we got back to Steve's house I think Harley sensed that Tricia was hurt. She stayed right by her side and whimpered when we first took the ice off Tricia's arm. She knew every move Tricia made the rest of the weekend. They were inseparable. I took Harley down by Steve's lake, Wind Lake to give her some outside time. She and I took some walks and played fetch for almost an hour on Sunday. Unfortunately the pictures I took of her watching Tricia sleep did not turn out. I'll try again next time.

If you ever need to relax and do some serious thinking and praying, the area around Steve's house is perfect. I'll let the photos speak for me on that. So, here are a few pics to keep you aware of what's up in our lives.

The Wandering Stranger

It's been awhile since I've been on here and wanted to update the latest and greatest in my life.

I'm truly the wandering stranger now. My job takes me to multiple retail locations each day. Sometimes I'm building a display, filling a display, checking on displays, putting new products in and removing old products, pretty much anything. Is this where I expected to be at this point in my life. NO. But I am employed and ever so grateful for that. Now it's time to get my finances repaired and get my life back. I'm trying hard to get it right.

One thing all of this has reminded me of is just how hard I've worked during my life. I did this type of work when I owned my own businesses and when I started out with Hallmark. It took me a long way every time, but I moved forward and got better positions as a result of the work. I'm hoping to do the same with this. The corporate headquarters for this company is in Tampa, Florida. Admittedly, as the weather gets nicer here, the urgency is diminishing, but I do hope to someday be back in the warmth and sunshine. Who knows where the Lord will take me next???

Tricia and I are keeping busy with little things around here. The Donahues are a blessing for us and have been very welcoming to us. We don't know what we'd do without them. We try to give them "family time" on the weekends and we go visit someone. We've stayed at my brothers home, house sitting and dog sitting, when they were out of town. My Mom had us over for two weekends so far. We've talked well into the night, trying to catch up on the past and get reacquainted. Tricia and Mom have laughing fits which crack us all up. Life is good.

I guess life is designed to keep us wondering. Security and stability may be a lifelong goal for me, but I'll make it. They talk about the circle of life. I used to believe it was about living and dieing. Maybe it's about everything. It may just be a way to improve on how we've done things in the past. Funny how we often times find ourselves saying "if I could do it all again". Maybe we get the chance and just haven't realised it because the situation is different enough to challenge us. Well, if you know me you know I love challenge. I guess this is just another opportunity for me to get it right.

Mixed Emotions

Thirty-two years. Thirty-two years ago today I married the one true love of my life. Wow, was it really that long ago? I can close my eyes and it seems like today. I can close my eyes and remember when I first woke up that morning. It was a sunny, beautiful day. In a few hours I was going to be married! I was on the other side of the world. But I wasn't alone. Just a few months earlier I'd met the man who would change my life forever. We met on December 29, 1975, at four in the afternoon. On April 10, 1976, at four o'clock we would be married. Not ironic, planned. We were just kids, but without a doubt, we were in love. To think of it now seems like a classic romance novel or movie.

We were on the other side of the world in a small village. It was a place called Torrejon, Spain. There were no family members there that day. Only our friends to celebrate the most important day of our lives. Of all the people there, four families stand out it my mind: the Menzies, John was Dan's Best Man, Flora was my Matron of Honor, Annette was my junior Bridesmaid, and Mark was our Ring Bearer; the Croan's, Charlie Croan was my Dad for the day and walked me down the aisle; the Zaragoza's who's adorable daughter Rachel was my Flower Girl ; and the Nelson's, Bob was our Usher. The friends we had there that day were our family as well as our friends.

As the doors to the Base Chapel opened that afternoon, I saw three things: the cross, knowing God was about to bless us and our marriage... for life; Father Hargraven the Priest who would marry us; and Dan. I remember seeing them in that order. I remember just staring at Dan as I walked down the aisle. I don't remember seeing anyone else, once my eyes met his. In my head I was praying the entire walk. God please let me be a good wife to him. Mary, please let me be a a wonderful mother to his children, should God decide to bless us with a family. Lord, in the events of this day, somehow let our families back home feel that they are with us today. I loved our Wedding Day. I still have the small cassette tape we made of our ceremony. We wanted our families to hear it so they could , in their own small way, say they were there with us.

After the church we headed to the NCO Club for our reception. There were about fifty people there. That's the first time I really realised who all was there. We had a wonderful meal, topped with a four layer cake. The top layer was white, to represent us. Then came blue for our Matron of Honor and Best Man. Yellow was in the middle to represent the Bridesmaids and Groomsmen. (We told ourselves that if we'd been in the States this would have been the brothers and sisters we surely would have had stand up.) The bottom layer was pink to represent the Flower Girl and Ring Bearer. It was a rainbow wedding. We cut our cake with a small, silver, Spanish sword we picked out earlier in the month. We drank champagne from a silver Champagne fountain. A small gift shop near the base is where we found our silver Champagne glasses. I still have the sword and glasses.

Everything was over by six that night! We left the Club and went to a beautiful hotel Dan picked out in Madrid. When we opened the door to our room we both burst out laughing. I guess Dan's Spanish wasn't as good as he'd hoped because there were twin beds! We must have stood there laughing for a good five minutes. We talked about the Wedding and the friends who spent the day with us. We were out on the terrazza just watching the city. Then, we both realized we were hungry and decided to change back into casual clothes and get something to eat. After remembering the "twin bed Spanish", we headed back to the Base to ensure we ate what we thought we were ordering.

The staff at the Club were so great to us. We gave them a good laugh though. Dan insisted I order anything I wanted. We were kids on a small budget, but today was our Wedding Day. He wanted this dinner to be memorable. AND IT WAS! You see, I ordered lobster. They placed it before me, a whole, huge lobster, fully intact. Within seconds I heard Dan say "Oh no. I can't sit here with that thing looking at me!" He proceeded to get up and sit at another table. The waiters were laughing. They had served our Wedding Reception Dinner just hours earlier! Now they were watching the Bride and Groom dining at separate tables! They offered to take back the lobster and remove the head so Dan would be more comfortable. We were laughing as the lobster "Pedro", as we dubbed him, was returned to the table, followed by Dan. By now everyone in the Dining Room knew the story and was congratulating us. It was wonderful.

When we left the Club we went to the Service Center to call home. It was the first time I ever talked to my new in-laws. We talked to our families for what seemed like seconds because the call home was so expensive. I remember telling my Mom I was nervous about the night ahead. Would I know what to do? What if I messed up? Crazy things to say to your Mom on your Wedding night, I know. We both cried most of the way back to the hotel. We vowed we would have a 25Th Wedding Anniversary and have all our families there to celebrate the renewal of our vows. In all honesty, there was one good laugh still ahead. When we got back to our hotel room, Dan opened the door and we started laughing about the twin beds again. But it took Dan all of ten seconds, saying "no way", to rearrange that room. We laughed some more.

"Goodnight Mr. Haynes" was the last thing I said. "Good Night Mrs. Haynes" was his sleepy response. I'd give anything to hear his voice again...

Once we retired and moved to Florida it became an annual trip on our Anniversary to go to Disney. We always went to Epcot. The day would start in Mexico. (There is no Spain there, so we improvised.) We'd eat something small there, laugh about Pedro the lobster, Dan would move to another table for a minute, and then sit back with us. The kids had no idea what that was about, but we'd always laugh. At night we'd eat at The Rose and Crown Pub, in England, to remind us of the six years we spent living in England. We'd call our families to say hi that night, even though we never reminded them it was our anniversary. It was our own little "reenactment ritual" but it meant a lot to us. We did, however skip the twin bed part...

Our first anniversary after Dan died we went as a family to Disney. That day, however, we didn't go to Epcot. My heart was so empty feeling. I cried all night, and still do. I'm sure the kids heard me crying and even heard me laugh in the middle of the night as I remembered "Pedro"the lobster and the twin beds. I honestly wanted to die that anniversary. I couldn't imagine going on without Dan. Then, as God always show me, the sun rose and I saw my family quietly sleeping. I knew Dan wouldn't want me to leave them alone. I know we will be together again. So I put the thoughts of dieing aside and decided I'd have an anniversary day to remember.

I was out by the pool, by myself, just thinking. Kristy came up with the rest of the family; William, Tricia and Kaylie. She looked worried and handed me my cell phone. "Mom, Aunt Mary has been trying to reach you. It's important." At first I almost didn't call her back, thinking she was calling to say Happy Anniversary. I remember looking at the phone in my hand and knowing there was something wrong. I called Mary and she told me Dan's Mom had just died. God, no! How could you do that! Why today? How cruel could you be? We packed our things, checked out of the hotel and headed home. We all repacked our clothes and headed for Ohio. Just months earlier we had those same clothes for Dan's funeral. How could this be happening? I drove the trip up there trying not to cry so we wouldn't go off the road. We were all talking about Grandma, and death, and trying to understand why God took her home today of all days... We saw beautiful clouds on the trip up to Ohio. (I wrote about them in an earlier blog post.) We all swear we saw clouds formed like Dan with his arms open to welcome his Mom home. We were all crying then.

We got to Ohio in record time. Mom Haynes died three years ago today, on our Anniversary. That night when I got in bed at the hotel, as exhausted as I felt physically, I knew I was going to have "a talk" with God. I knew I had to try to understand all of this. A calm came over me as I layed in the dark, listening to my family sleep. I remember I was crying and just kept thinking "why?". Then as if God Himself were in the room talking to me, I knew something no one else knew about that day. I remembered the words Dan spoke 29 years earlier. "I wish I could be with my Mom right now. I really, really miss her." I decided that night, that God chose that day to take her home to Him, and so Dan would have his Mom there on his anniversary day...

Until recently I don't think any of the Haynes family realised Mom died on our anniversary. That was understandable. This year, the loneliness of this day is compounded by the fact that for the first time, my anniversary won't be spent at Epcot. So today, Mom Haynes, can you please dance an anniversary dance with Dan for me? I know you loved to dance, and I know he hated to dance. But on our anniversary he always danced, for me...

Today is so full of mixed emotions. I feel joy when I remember you both alive, happy and dancing. I feel sadness, emptiness and loneliness without you. I love you. I wish we were all together again. Someday we will be, just not yet. Happy Anniversary Dan! I love you...